Remembrances of War

Rev. Sharon Dittmar
May 28, 2000

As Unitarian Universalists, we are justice-seeking people. We are peace-seeking people. Death and destruction go against the values that we espouse. Yet our values are ideals, and ideals cannot always be achieved.

The reality of human society is that we fight and war and kill. Our values and ideals are desperately needed, precisely because we can't always use them, because we do fight and war and kill. Those of you who have dedicated your life to peace, I want you to keep doing it. We need your help. And at the same time, we must thank those women and men who have preserved our country and lives through their service in the armed forces. We owe them our freedom, prosperity, and our very ability to pursue values and ideals. All too often they sacrificed their individual freedom and prosperity for the good of our country. If we are to have true peace we must honor our soldiers, as well as our responsibilities as citizens, for our soldiers are simply an extension of ourselves.

Each war is different, strategically, politically, and morally. War is not monolithic. In this century we have learned that the most decisive factor is public support. Some wars, like WWII have clearly defined objectives and problems. In hindsight we know with certainty that we did the right thing by entering this war. We were fighting for freedom, human rights, and civility.

I was easily able to find several WWII veterans in our congregation. When I asked Dick Bozian if he would write something he said "Oh Sharon, you don't know what it is like with us veterans. We love to talk about WWII." Dick told me that at one local college "Oral Histories of WWII" is the most popular continuing education program among older adults. Our WWII veterans fought bravely, and they were, we were, "the good guys".

I had a harder time finding Korean veterans within the congregation. They don't speak as much about their service. Ben Graziani calls the Korean War "the forgotten war." Ben and his comrades saw suffering, triumph, and destruction similar to the men and women who had served just five years before in WWII. They too were brave, but somehow they didn't come home with as much honor.

And then there is Vietnam. I couldn't find a member of First Church who served in active combat during Vietnam. Either there are none, or none who would speak of it. Thirty years later our country is still healing from the wounds of this war. I was able to speak to the brother of a friend who served a year of active duty as a Marine in Vietnam. This interview was a humbling experience. I was the first person he had spoken to about his war experiences in 30 years. Very different from our WWII veterans. Our Vietnam veterans carry extra burdens.

Like many Vietnam vets, he was eighteen years old when he went to war. He is proud to be a Vietnam veteran, and grateful to be alive. When I asked him about his biggest surprise in the war he said,

He explained, "no one cared about us." He told me, "the poorer you were, the greater were your chances of going to war." He enlisted in order to escape urban riots and because there were few jobs for black men. He had little idea what was in store for him on the front lines of Vietnam.

The war changed him. Like Dick, he told me he takes life more seriously now, and feels grateful for every day he is alive. Since his return home over thirty years ago he has never slept more than five hours at a time. To this day he remains aware of his surroundings and is more comfortable meeting with only one or two people, rather than a crowd.

Perhaps the most remarkable thing is how normal he seems in contrast to our stereotype of a mentally unstable Vietnam vet. He is a quiet, forthright, dignified person who can melt into society, who no one would ever guess was a Vietnam vet. And that is the way he likes it. He is not ashamed. He has just found that few people understand and he would rather try to forget.

After listening to the words of our veterans, I have begun to understand how little non-combatants understand the realities of war. Dick Bozian described his initial, naive enthusiasm for the war, which turned into serious doubt, when he realized the physical and emotional cost of frostbite, gangrene, amputation, and death. His last line is so powerful, "Had I been a youth during the Vietnam War, I would have been the first to cross the border to Canada."

What I have learned from our veterans is how much war changes the men and women who serve. They come back older, with a greater understanding of life, gratitude, and loss. I have learned that two soldiers can respond (intellectually and emotionally) quite differently to the same situations. I have learned that combat is confusing (I think of Jerry's words "Nobody told us anything").

I have also learned that combat is uncomfortable, and often grotesque. I think of Ben's story about the woman's head, which is horrifying. And that is war, not clean, instant death, but suffering and mutilation, sometimes leading to death, and other times to recovery. War is not glamorous, and as Nicholas Proffitt writes, "There was, and is, no Rambo." We need to know these things so that we can understand everything that our soldiers have given us, which can include their peace of mind.

WWII, Korea, and Vietnam were equally violent and destructive, but having a sense of moral rightness and the support of one's country, made all the difference in how our soldiers readjusted to civilian life and the legacy of their service. The lives of our soldiers are our responsibility and their experiences are part of our story, whether we agree with the war or not.

Wars tend to take on large over-arching proportions. But every war comes down to the lives and stories of individual human beings. Every war has atrocities, but more often they are made up of individuals doing the best they can in violent and impossible circumstances. We are grateful to all the women and men of our armed services, who have given of themselves in support of our country. Listening to the stories of Jerry, Dick, Ben, and a Vietnam veteran, I thought of their struggles, their courage, strength, fear and deprivation. They deserve our respect, and our thanks.

If there are members or visitors here today who have served in any branch of the armed service, at any time, in combat or not, I invite you now to stand so that we may thank you.

In a moment we will begin lighting candles of remembrance for individual service men and women, and civilians, who were wounded or killed in combat. You may name the person you are lighting the candle for, or just light a candle in silence. I will begin by lighting two candles, one for civilians of all nationalities wounded and killed in American wars, and another for soldiers of all nationalities wounded and killed by Americans. In our remembrance we hope to find healing, instead of hate, community instead of isolation.

War has been a constant in our history. May we honor those who have given the greatest sacrifice, while we work toward a world released from the bondage of war. Amen.